Words have meaning but names have power

Posted on November 11, 2010 by


A few blogs back I whinged about my ridiculous mouth guard. Then I went out and bought a clear, junior-sized one. I moulded it according to the directions and now it sits really well without me having to bite down to hold it in place. Michelle also had some trouble with her mouth guard. She’s now also bought two and followed the directions on how to mould it to your teeth.

The instructions say “Place in nearly boiling water for 20 seconds. Remove from the hot water. Immediately place the mouth guard in your mouth against your upper teeth. Using your thumbs, push the mouth guard up and back; then bite down firmly (not hard) to make a custom impression on the bottom of the mouth guard. Place your tongue against the roof of the mouth, suck out the air and water until a tight fit is obtained around the teeth.”

Michelle is ridiculously strong. As I keep saying to her, she’s definitely going to make it into the league. Little did I suspect, though, that her strength would extend so far.

Out of a fresh meat batch of about 45 girls, Michelle is the only one I know of to have misjudged her strength not once but twice and created a sort of plate rather than a nicely moulded mouth guard. See the picture:

… Please take a moment to make jokes based on sucking innuendo here …

We’ve now decided that Michelle’s derby name should be Hoover 😉 

Lacking any obvious super strengths a good name for me is not so obvious. I have a couple of ideas on a backburner but I’m interested to hear what everyone else thinks. I know some people have already devoted a lot of time to this exercise. (One person in particular probably could’ve devoted a little of that time to having a name ready for his first born, who had to wait a couple of days).

So, it’s over to you. Get commenting and tell me what your derby name would be, what you’d name me, or even a derby name you’ve already heard that’s awesome.

Posted in: Fresh Meat 2010