International OSD Awareness Day

Posted on November 24, 2010 by

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The post below is on the relatively unknown condition known as OSD. You may know the author, Michelle, from such events as the TTP Christmas Pageant.

I have OSD.  Obsessive Skate Disorder.  I am forever thinking about it.  I drive through traffic like I’m on a derby track, imagining I’m hip checking cars out of my way.  I glare my best derby stare at those going too slow.  Every surface I encounter is instantly assessed for skateability.  Carparks are no longer places to store your vehicle while shopping, they have become potential derby session locations.  Oh and look, that cloud is shaped like a roller skate don’t you think? 

I try hip checking poor Bundy (my four-legged training companion) during outdoor beach skates.  A walk down the mall or though any crowd of people becomes a weaving drill (of course I’m the only one who knows it) but hey that doesn’t matter, nor does it matter that I’m not on skates – that’s what imagination is for!

I’m fairly career-minded but work has taken a back seat.  Instead of working I have daydream/fantasies of the bouts I’ll play when I get in (it’s all about positive thinking right?)!  During meetings I make lists of the things I can work on at the next skate session.  I google looking for blogs on blocks, whips, boots and wheels.  Surely those nice fancy looking wheels will make me go harder, faster, fitter, stronger?

Would I like to be an elf in the local Westfield pageant?  Sure, so long as I can skate!  Oh and can I bring a few of my skater girl mates too?  ALL my facebook updates are skate related.  End of uni celebratory drinks at a friends place turned into a derby lesson.  (Yes, it IS completely appropriate to regard a smoothly tiled floor and a large dining table as a derby track!)

I relish my first derby bruise.  A black bruise with a cut through the middle, hardcore!  There was even a small amount of blood.  Ok ok, admittedly I did it myself by somehow managing to kick myself in the shin with my own skate but that’s irrelevant – I was derby skating at the time so it counts right?  It’s sadly now starting to fade…

I clean my house in skates – its quicker and I can practice leaping the vaccum cleaner on the way through, hip checking cupboard doors shut as I go.  I even go on dates on skates!

 Addiction?  Obsession?  Who cares!!!  Who’s up for a skate?

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Posted in: Fresh Meat 2010