Dear Santa

Posted on December 18, 2010 by


Dear Santa,

I’d like to explain why, when working with you recently as your little helper elf, I was inappropriately dressed in those white skecher skates.  I know, I know!  I’m sooo sorry.  I realise you expected me “in uniform” with black derby style boots like we agreed but really it wasn’t my fault!  Honest! 

Santa's Little Helper

You see, a few days ago while still basking in the glow of our 22km tribute roll in our awesome new socks, something happened.  I strolled to my car on my afternoon break to grab my protein shake for a snack (so I can grow up to be a real derby girl one day).  Bumbling blindly along I didn’t look up until I’d reached my car… My jaw hit the ground like a derby girl may hit the track.  This is what I saw:

Victim of Crime

After my initial shock I jumped into action with the lightening speed of a pro jammer.  My SKATES!!!!  I rushed to the boot with dread in my heart.  That dread turned to a lead weight and my heart dropped, like a broken elevator, straight to my shoes.  They were gone.  GONE!  Some schmuck stole my skates!  Not only my skates but my pads, helmet, mouthguard, my wheels, MY SPECIAL SOCKS!!!!  The whole damn kit, bag and all!!  (There was a heap of other stuff too incidentally).  I confess I cried.  Big cry-baby-sue girl tears.  “Dddad, th th they, stole m m my SKAAAAATES”, I sobbed down the phone (cos even big girl derby wannabe’s call their Dads when things go wrong).

Being the karmically conscious person that I am, I sincerely hope the person who took them really, really needed them and will treat them with the same care, love and respect I did.  Those skates held some fond memories of some very good times. 

So anyway Santa, given we work together from time-to-time, I thought I’d pull in a favour…  All I want for Christmas this year is some new skates.  Pretty please, I’ve been bad in a really good way, ALL year.  Can I?  Pretty please?!

Thanks heaps Santa.

Love Michelle (aka Skatalicious)

PS Please tell Rudolph that Bundy says hi.

Posted in: LimboLand