Falling on Your Butt, Inner Dialogue and Conquering Fear

Posted on January 28, 2011 by


Recently my friend Ally, also one of our resident photographers, commented that I was her “fearless friend”.  If only she knew what went on in my head, besides the usual static!

For example, jumping. I started last year by trying to jump the basketball court lines in the stadiums we trained at as I heard it was in the Raw Meat testing. Meh, piece of cake! Em in particular was very impressed that I’d mastered that early. It came in handy as we progressed to jumping over single “pool noodles” on the floor during Fresh Meat training – again, I nailed it!

From here we started jumping speed humps and kerbs on a roof top car park. Em and Erica nailed it first time no dramas and I followed soon after. So when we had our “hearts” photo shoot the aim was to take video footage doing jumps etc.

Here’s the story in pictures.

Ready, Set...


This was a basic jump; I’d done it dozens of times before. However, this time, my centre of gravity was off and my backside ended up sliding along sandpaper-like concrete. I have no idea what happened other than I just did not land well (obviously!).  Actually, when watching re-runs (yes, someone had a damn video camera!!) it is a downright shocker!  And if I’m honest, quite hilarious – if it were happening to someone else!!

For a pant-wetting giggle…

No major physical damage was done but my confidence crumbled like old cheese and my stockings now have more holes than a politican’s promises. I forced myself to continue jumping – over Em’s legs, repeating the same jump etc but I didn’t feel good. In fact, I was terrified! It’s not the jump that concerns me (white chicks can jump!) – it’s the landing that I find disturbing…

White chick can jump!

Recently Erica and her boyfriend used engineering ingenuity, that rivals that of the Sydney Harbour Bridge, to create a jump made of pool noodles!!  



Engineering Ingenuity

We took this to the stadium and Em and Erica began bounding over it like a pair of kangaroos.  I did NOT want to do it. AT ALL. Em and Erica were being very encouraging and trying to convince me I could do it. A small crowd of spectators was gathering, most of them under the age of 10. I HAD to do it or lose face in front of a bunch of under 10’s… that was not going to happen, I’m tonka tough!! Aren’t I…?

I placed myself 20m back from the jump and stared glumly at it. In spite of being only 35cm high (just over 1ft), it looked bigger than the Empire State Building! Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound but could I? I could feel the lead weight of 10 year olds staring. Bugger it – I started to skate. I built up speed as I approached the obstacle and that’s when the inner dialogue started. You think I mean “inner monologue”, I don’t. It was dialogue – there were two voices and they were arguing. One was me, the other was this whiney woman who appeared to have taken up temporary residence in my head.

In the mere seconds it took me to skate the 20m to the jump the conversation went something like this.

WW: You can’t do that.
Me: Can so.
WW: Can’t.
Me: Can. Holy sh*t, I’m nearly there.
WW: Hahaha!
Me: When should I jump? How close is too close? How far is to far away? What if I fall? Sh*t, it’s not the Empire State Building it’s more like Mount friggin Kosiosko! Jump now? No, now? No, no, no, wait – now?
WW: You’re gonna looooooose!
Me: Arggghh! Shut up and JUMP!

I sailed effortlessly over the jump and landed solidly on the other side!! I nailed it! The whiney woman was gone, vanished into thin air. Sayonara Biatch! Good riddance to bad rubbish!

So, while I may not be as fearless as I would like, it seems I do have courage. Oh and now I think I’m 10ft tall and bullet proof and am relishing my newest badge of honour!

Attempting to make damage look painless!

Posted in: LimboLand