First Date with a Roller Derby League

Posted on February 7, 2011 by



My first league experience was good.  It was great to be back in the roller derby atmosphere.  Those running the training were welcoming and those participating were fun.  It was a really good experience but I felt like something was missing…  Having had some time to think it over, I reckon I’ve worked out why.  There was no hard sell.

I love a sales pitch, marketing hype and the hard sell.  Like nicotine to a smoker, a pokie machine to a gambler or booze to an alcoholic – it’s impossible to resist.  I’ve been “glamoured” by the media vampires.  I’m a victim of modern marketing and commercialism.

From alluring Coke commercials that promise the best summer if you drink it, and Nike campaigns that promise you’ll “Just Do It” if you just wear it, to the good looking charmer who promises forever if you just, well, nevermind… 

I want to hear the right words, I want to know that I’m buying into something better than I have already.  I want you to SELL me something and make me believe it’s worth my investment.  TELL me those Skins running tights will improve my speed, or how that Cue suit will put me on the corporate map, or how that over-priced Elizabeth Arden skin cream will make my skin like that of an 18 year old, air-brushed, super model.

I don’t invest for fun.  I invest for reward.

What will I get for my time, effort, attention, energy, dollar?  TELL me!  SELL me!  Faster, younger, stronger, fitter, popularity, recognition, inclusion?  How will I FEEL?  I want in on that community of cool, the fraternity of funk, the sorority of sensational, the misfit magic, the ecstasy of elite.

I don’t notice the Spendless shoes or home brand spaghetti.  I just don’t do beige.

I get high on hype, I crave vibrant colour.  I’m a glitz and glamour junky.

Even though I know ‘what sounds too good to be true’ generally is and that ‘love at first sight’ is unsustainable or belongs in a Twilight movie – I can’t help it.

Hi my name’s Michelle, and I’m a glitz and glamour junkie.

But here’s the thing.  Eyeliner runs, fake lashes peel off and sparkles fade.  Before you know it, you’re hanging out for someone or something that’s REAL and means something.

And it’s because of this, that while it wasn’t love at first sight with this league, I will definitely be going on a “second date”.  They’re growing on me as time goes by.  A bit like the plain but really sweet office guy that you don’t notice at first but sneaks up on you and gets under your skin while you’re not looking.  The one who knows your name and always says hi and makes you feel comfortable.  And when that happens, the sparks ignite and suddenly everything looks that little more glitzy and a whole lot more glamorous.

Besides, when push comes to shove – and it will – I just wanna skate!

Posted in: LimboLand