Roller Derby Fresh Meat Test – Take #2

Posted on April 6, 2011 by


That nerve-wracking, future-deciding fork in the derby road is approaching again – THE FRESH MEAT TEST.  The results of this test will place us either in the League or out in the cold, left to our own devices to continue our derby journey.  We either remain derby wannabes or officially become roller girls!

I have no idea how many girls they want to accept into this league.  The upside is that we can assume, being a new league with only three teams, that they want to grow.  This gives us a greater chance.  In addition, I’ve done this before.

In November 2010 I was told that I actually passed the test with ADRD but that I simply did not make the cut for league entry as there were too many girls and too few spots.

So my chances are looking good, yes?  You’d think so, right?  However, after the devastation of last year’s failure I am quietly wary and more than a little nervous.

I know I can perform each of the elements required in the test.  I may not be the best at it but I know I can do most of them proficiently.

I’ve quit smoking – 5 weeks now, so my fitness has returned.  I’ve commenced my running training for the upcoming Mother’s Day Classic 7.2km Fun Run.

My lap training has recently yielded 29 laps in 5 minutes which is sooo close to my goal of 30.  So I should have no dramas in nailing the 25 in 5 required.

I’ve been weight training for my upper body to increase bulk to give and receive impacting blocks.  I’ve also been practicing blocking with a girl 15kg heavier and much more experienced than me.

My continued outdoor skating has assisted with agility.  Well except for last weekend’s small mishap which resulted in me using my shoulder as a brake – it was either my shoulder or my chin…

Perhaps shoulder pads should come back?!


4 days later...

I’ve developed a derby drill circuit which includes activities like “armed and dangerous”, “knee-slide suicide”, “freight train”, and “the butcher” to cover sticky skating, jumping, carving, stopping and booty blocking.

The downside is that I suffer with adrenalin and nerves which results in an uncontrollable shaking from head to toe and an uncontrollable urge to pee…  My mind is clear and confident but my body takes it upon itself to acknowledge what my mind will not!!  This aspect doesn’t help much with technique – it’s hard to stay steady and grounded when your body is acting like a bowl of aeroplane jelly and you’re hopping from foot to foot trying not to soil your superhero knickers with excitement.

So – considering all of the above, I think I’m ready to roll.  Tomorrow is the day.  One. More. Sleep.

I want this BAD.  Like really, really, really bad.  Like as much as I want to hook up with Jason Statham kind of bad!!

I want it BAD!

I want to get in a league and play for real; it’s time.  I don’t care that this league doesn’t do public bouts yet, I just want to play.

I want to be “bout ready” by the time I hit RollerCon 2011 in July and by the time RollerCon hits me!

Good luck to my fellow freshies (especially to my blogging partners)!  If anyone has any advice on passing a fresh meat roller derby test and eliminating the nervous shakes let me know!  Ahhh hell – even just wishing us luck will do!

Hopefully the image below is our final freshie moment!

Posted in: LimboLand