Buffy vs Charlie’s Angels

Posted on June 14, 2011 by


People often ask me what would happen if Buffy were to take on Charlie’s Angels in a derby bout… ok, so nobody has ever asked me. Whatever. Here’s the answer anyway:

First we need to take a look at the teams. Buffy would have Willow and Anya on her team. That’s a pretty impressive line up. Buffy has superhuman strength and heals quickly. Willow (let’s take a later season Willow) can do some serious magic. Anya’s fairly human but she used to be a vengeance demon so she’s got fury on her side.


Willow getting witchy

Anya - former vengeance demon

I’m an 80s baby so it’s the new school Angels for me – that’s Drew, Cameron and Lucy. These three are human. They’re tough, though, and can bounce right back up after a major beating. They’re also all incredibly intelligent.

Realistically, though, team Buffy has the strength advantage based on Buffy’s superhuman status.

Is strength all there is in roller derby though? Considering my puny muscles, I hope not!

Now, when it comes to strategising, Buffy is seriously deficient. Her modus operandi is ‘so, I stab it through the heart with a stake, right?’. If she’s feeling creative she might go with beheading. Willow’s the one with the strategising ability but my guess is she’d fall apart under the pressure of making decisions in the heat of a bout.

So, if we agree that killing or using magic would get a player sent to the penalty box, we’ve got team Buffy’s strength up against the Angels’ strategising.

Who wins?

The key attribute that would get the Angels over the line is their cohesiveness. As we witnessed at bout 1 of the Adelaide Roller Derby League this year, the ability to function well as a team can make all the difference.

There you go, Buffy vs Charlies Angels – the Angels win.

Do you agree? – comment below

Posted in: LimboLand