I’m Afraid She’s Got a Bad Case of Melodrama

Posted on November 17, 2011 by


Last night at team training I fell backwards. I was skating too high and took a hit. I didn’t do a pretzel fall like Erica. Instead, I just tilted slightly to the side and fell in a sitting position with one of my butt cheeks absorbing most of the impact.

I don’t remember it hurting at all. What I do remember is my foot getting instant pins and needles.

Anyone who knows me well will not be surprised to hear that I promptly decided that I had been paralysed in one leg. I was too scared to move even a centimetre. My team crowded around me to see if I was ok. I was pooping myself with fear and about to cry so I snapped at them all to get away from me.

Erica was watching all this unfold from where she was lounging at the other end of the hall. From her perspective, she said she saw everyone checking on me and then suddenly they were moving away, standing around looking uncomfortable.

At this point I realised that I was now not only “paralysed” but alone. I sheepishly called out “um, is there one person who could help me?”. Daisy Wallbanger (who you may remember from such heroic times as taking Erica to the hospital) rolled over to patiently deal with me.


L-R: Daisy Wallbanger and Akka Armoff

I was adamant that I didn’t want to cry from a fall in front of my teammates. Banger asked me what hurt and I whispered that nothing did but I was too scared to move my leg (somehow whispering kept the tears at bay). Banger knew instantly what had happened and asked me if I had tingles in my foot. It was about this time that my brain started to register that I might not actually be mortally wounded.

Banger then got me to wiggle my toes and felt me up. Satisfied that I could feel her groping all the way up my leg, she asked me to try and move it. I was relieved (and incredibly embarrassed) to realise that I was absolutely fine.

Posted in: LimboLand