I’m intrigued by the concept of derby love. What do we really mean?
Tex Pistol reckons it’s “the smeared mascara and the Jager shots and the bad ideas, derby love is the moment when you have to touch the girl next to you because her girlfriend went down in the jam and the medics run out but don’t move her… it’s the ones who visit you in the hospital, or keep you updated when work keeps you from making it to practice… it’s thanking that girl who relentlessly knocks you down every time you’re not paying attention. It’s feeling someone gently take your helmet out of your hands as you dry heave into the trashcan after a jam.”
The cynic in me wonders if derby love is simply the my brain associating the exercise endorphin-fueled good feelings with the women who are around me when I’m exercising. But then, I’ve never felt compelled to bear hug people next to me in a gym class! Maybe it’s something to do with the hitting? Perhaps in this aggressive environment I compensate with strong feelings of affection to keep the situation safe?
Do you think derby love exists? And, if so, what do you think defines derby love?
Diary of a Derby Wannabe 
Outrajess edi
December 21, 2011
Derby love is like magic.
It’s out there. But no one knows what it is. Or what causes it. And it’s freaking awesome!
I’ve never hugged so many people. Or pinched so many asses as I have at derby…
Akka
December 21, 2011
Derby love DOES exist.
I like this from Professor Plutonium:
“…it’s amazing that two teams can beat the heck out of each other for over an hour and then sing, dance, hug, slap each other silly and have a great time. Yet it happens. Why? Because we’re all a big derby family. We’ve had the highs and lows, the long road trips and intense home bouts, the loud practices and poignant silences”.
Unless you are a part of roller derby, you are not going to fully understand what this sport can do to you emotionally. All I know is that it does consume you. These girls become a huge part of your life (and not just at training and league events) you make some amazing friends that share something special with you.
As a new member to our team once said when she joined us “It’s like joining the f*cking care bear team”!… but it’s true. You love these girls and want to support them, and be there for them and help them be the best they can.
When I moved interstate I wasn’t worried about telling my family or friends, it was my derby team that I cared about the most. But they showed me nothing but wonderful wonderful love throughout the entire time of transition and I have never felt so blessed about knowing these girls.
Eve Yllanside
December 22, 2011
Tehehe you quoted me back to me… Kinda wish I’d said something more profound!
Perhaps I should stop overanalysing and just put faith in derby love!
Akka
December 22, 2011
Yeah I do that!
Put your faith in it… ’cause you’re a real dame now 😉
Tex Pistol
December 23, 2011
I do believe in derby love 🙂 Although I think that I should clarify that the quote is distinguishing between “derby luv” — the sort of feel good party aspect of it, and “derby love” the more substantial relationship that comes from the common endeavor. My theory is that it is more than an endorphin-fueled Stockholm Syndrome (although that’s definitely part of it), that it has a lot to do with the sheer amount of time and effort that people put into it. Being around other people like that, they get to see the good parts and the bad — you can’t help but love people you get that close to, you know?
some zebra
December 29, 2011
I’m just now getting involved in roller derby as a referee. From my viewpoint, these girls are training together and then watching each others’ backs during fast-paced, oftentimes violent situations fueled by endorphins and adrenaline. Reading accounts from many rollergirls it seems that sometimes they don’t even think; they react.
Many hours training together.
Watching each others’ backs.
Fast-paced, violent situations fueled by fight or flight physiology.
Sounds a lot like warfare to me. Perhaps I’m being overly dramatic, but I think parallels can be drawn and if you’ve ever talked to a soldier who has seen action you’ll notice that they talk about their brethren in every way short of saying they love them.
Eve Yllanside
December 30, 2011
I love this perspective. Question: do the refs experience derby love?
Tex Pistol
January 3, 2012
Yes, but it’s different 🙂 There’s a bond in being mutually reviled by EVERYONE. I’d say Team Zebra is just as cohesive as any team of skaters.